The Privilege of Being Tired: Rebuilding a Healthy Relationship with Running w/ Lena Milligan

Taylor Sayles
4 days ago
3 min read

Updated: 3 days ago

TW: This episode includes discussion of anorexia, disordered eating, and other sensitive mental and physical health topics. Please take care of yourself while listening/reading.

Lena always loved movement. Whether it was swimming, color guard, archery - movement was a way of life for Lena growing up. When she went to college, terrified of gaining the dreaded "Freshman 15" and without a formal sport schedule, movement ended up becoming a source of pain. Overexercising, under eating, and hitting the gym everyday no matter what.

Reclaiming Running As Recovery

Lena started running 5Ks with her eating disorder, and she had difficulty dealing with the diagnosis of anorexia. She felt the impact of underfueling, especially during those races, and ended up having to stop any form of movement. She got winded walking to class. She fell asleep in class because her body was not getting any nutrients.

Lena was down, but not out. She began the not-so-glamorous work of recovery — therapy, nutrition, rest — and running slowly became something that healed her, instead of harmed her.

Every Mile as an Act of Trust

Lena's build up started slow and steady. She was recovering from torn cartilage in her hip, brought on by her eating disorder. Lena started just walking with her dog. Then she slowly went back to the gym. And then rock climbing with her husband. That led to boxing, boxing led to an Orangetheory class, and then she was ready to give running another go.

She committed to running one race per month in 2024. As she toed the start line of her first race that year, friends by her side, she was nervous. But as she got further into the race, she felt all of this energy she didn't realize she had. She picked up the pace and crossed the finish line, emotional as she realized she once again had the privilege to be tired from an activity she loved.

Crossing the Finish Line Changed More Than Her Running

Lena rekindled her love of running over countless miles along the canyons and beautiful scenery in Colorado, with friends beside her. It wasn't long before she set her sights on the marathon. Still working with her nutritionist, Lean built strength and endurance, both physical and mental.

Finishing her first marathon wasn't just a physical achievement, it was the culmination of years spent repairing her relationship with movement. When she crossed the finish line, it was an unforgettable experience. She reclaimed her strength, agency, and the privilege of being tired in a healthy way, something she once thought she’d lost forever.

Lessons Learned